Feeling lonely? Ironically, you are far from alone. Thanks to months and months of social distancing and lockdown, more people are experiencing loneliness within the UK - and it isn't just the elderly who are impacted.
Recent research has revealed that Gen Z (people born in the late 1990s and onwards) actually registered the highest level of loneliness pre and during lockdown. The study by Echo and Lloyds Pharmacy, which used the universally recognised UCLA loneliness scale to measure participants’ feelings, reported that during lockdown, Gen Z are three times more likely to experience a high level of loneliness than those aged 75 and over.
Loneliness has also massively impacted Millennials, especially those who aren't coupled up. According to a 2017 survey, the highest proportion of UK residents living alone were aged 25–34 with 94% counted as single. Whereas then you could meet up with people whenever you were sick of your own company, that option was taken away for those living alone in the pandemic, leaving devastating effects on people’s mental health. In June 2020, single households were reported most likely to feel chronic loneliness compared to multi-person households considering Covid restrictions. It hasn't helped that a lot of Millennial couples have fast-forward their lives, getting engaged and having 'lockdown babies', leaving even less time for their lonely friends.
Whilst it might seem intimidating - especially in your 20s and 30s, making new (and likeminded) friends is one of the simplest ways to feel less lonely.
"If you want to connect with others and make new friends, the good news is that there are people who are open to meeting others and making friends too, you’ve just got to find them," says Gill Hasson, author of Lonely Less: How to Connect with Others, Make Friends and Feel Less Lonely . "Those people are unlikely to come knocking on the door, it takes effort on your part; you need to be willing to meet others, to be yourself and give something of yourself. You can make new friends but you have to get out there."
But where to start? And how do you establish new friendships without coming across like a total keeno? Gill has shared 5 foolproof ways to make new friends in your 20s and 30s...
Start with your interests
When you have interests and activities you enjoy, you can meet and join in with people who have similar interests. Whether it’s playing or watching a sport, a creative activity, or an enjoyment of arts and culture, getting together with people who like and enjoy the same things as you makes it easier for you to talk to them and make friends because you’ve already got something in common; you share similar interests and values.
Use the power of online communities
Have a look at www.meetup.com. Their website enables people to find and join groups of other people in their local area who share each other’s interests. There are Meetup groups to fit a wide range of interests and hobbies, plus others you’ll never have thought of. There are book groups, art groups, film and theatre groups, and sci-fi groups. Hiking and running groups, football groups, netball groups, and cycling groups. There are groups centred round particular age groups, cultures, and identities: ‘20s–30s’ and ‘40s–60s’ groups, for example; Japanese appreciation groups, conservation groups, singles groups, LGBTQ groups and so on. (You can also start your own new Meetup group.)
People who go to ‘Meetups’ do so knowing they’ll be meeting people who are also open to meeting other people with a shared interest or identity and making new friends. If you find people who are just as keen on, for example, board games, Nordic walking, or craft beers as you are, then you’ll find it relatively easy to connect and make friends with them. And when you’re doing something that’s fun and meaningful, your ability to form connections will come naturally. It’s a win-win situation – you get to do something you enjoy and you also have the opportunity to meet new people.
You’ll most likely get a sense of what the group is like from the first meeting, so the most important step is to show up and see what it’s like. If, in the first few meetings, you do meet one or two people you like, because they’ll likely be at the next meeting and the one after that, it means you can let a friendship develop naturally, over time.
With any group, there are usually new members joining, so as well as the regulars, there’s the potential to meet more people over the coming months.
Don’t hesitate to contact the organiser first if you have any questions; you might want to know more about the group: how many people usually attend; the age range, gender, or cultural mix; accessibility and parking, etc.
Don't be afraid to try something new
As well as a current interest or hobby, you could try something new. Have you, for example, ever wanted to learn how to speak Spanish, to dance the tango?
What about paddle boarding or cold water swimming? Perhaps you’d like to take up photography, Mexican cooking, or quilting. Why not take the plunge and try a new activity?
Take a class
You can search for courses by going to your local council’s website and searching ‘adult education’ or ‘adult learning’ in the search bar. You can also find courses in your area by searching on FindCourses.
TheWEA have classes in almost every area of England and Scotland. On their website, they explain that you don’t need any previous knowledge or qualifications to join most of their courses, only a willingness to share with others your curiosity, ideas, and experience.
There’s so much out there to experience – what’s stopping you?
Try it with no reason other than to see what it’s like; like a scientist setting up an experiment for the purpose of discovering something unknown, join in with no expectations other than to see what happens as a result.
If it doesn’t work out, try another one.
Have courage!
Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the determination that something else is more important.
Focus on the positive. Remind yourself what it is that you want; to connect with and get to know other people – people that you like and who like you. This can give you the motivation and courage you need to take the necessary first step. Focusing on why you’re doing something and what you want to achieve, keeping that in your mind, can help stop feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and fear from taking over.
Rather than fight feelings of fear and doubt, acknowledge and accept them. Tell yourself ‘I’m feeling scared. I’m not sure about this.’ Then push past those thoughts and feelings and tell yourself ‘But I can do this.’ Feel the fear. And then do it.
Don’t overthink it. The more you think about whether you should or shouldn’t do something, the longer you have to come up with excuses, the less likely you are to take that first courageous step. Courage can be prone to leaking so the longer you wait, the less of it you’ll have. Once you’ve decided to do something, don’t wait, do it!
Focus on the first step. This might be going, for example, to that first Meetup meeting or making that call about voluntary work. So often, taking the first step is half the battle, so pushing yourself over the threshold will create the momentum that will move things forward. And by then you’ll just be dealing with it.
Whether you take action or not, life will continue. So you might as well screw up your courage, take action, and make things work out so that, as life continues, it does so in the ways you want it to.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7qLjApqauqp2WtKLGyKecZ5ufY8Kse8Crq6KbnJp8qLXLpWShmaOovK95y6ilnqSpYrmmv9JmnLGsopawtQ%3D%3D